COCOA CHANEL INC.: my work

COCOA CHANEL INC.: my work: This is a look at some of my favourite clients, who are usually up and coming models and pageant girls......

For Tenica's Eleventh Birthday 2012...

It's been eleven years since you entered my world,
And I swear,
It's like you just pulled out your wand
And give it it a swirl...

How, Where or What my life would be like is Unimaginable,
If you hadn't been there,
To affect my decisions, change my directions,
To share your visions and aspirations,
In turn, giving me the motivation
To believe in Love.

We've had so many bumps, and thumps
In this short space of time,
And its the way you've stood by me,
 Just assures my mind, that,
Our Bond Will Surely Stand The test of Time.

I Love You, You know this, You Love Me even more.
And that is why, for you my Love I will go to war.
So, as Our Most Merciful and Loving Father grants you another year,
I want to tell you...
"Happy Birthday Baby, 
And Remember, God will Never give You more than your little heart can Bear"
                                                                                                            Love Chenelle xoxo..

                                                                                                                            2012

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The Ups and Downs of Love...

I've been inlove on more than one occasion, and also had my heartbroken on more than one occasion as well, so You'd think, I have a scrap book of Do's and Don'ts, huh, You'd think I'd enter each new affair with more knowledge, skill, and grace than the last...Yeah right.

Each times catches you when you have your guard up, when you've already completed building your sturdy wall so thick around your heart, that all you have to study is aiming straight for the head of every pursuer who even just lingers to long. Next thing you know, He's already behind that wall, actually helping hold your hand steady as you aim...wth!!!

So now, that same thick ass wall ends up trapping you in this new affair, forcing you to fall in love again, and you know you built a freak proof wall, so there's no escaping, So inlove we go again.

Being inlove is so indescribable. It makes you feel beautiful, and purpose filled. It makes days feel meaningful and nights magical. Life looks different, it smells different, it feels different. It feels good,,,all the time.

And that's only when you're inlove, When you're loved back in return, You feel Powerful, you feel Motivated, You feel like Tinkerbell with your pouch of magic dust to sprinkle over anything and everything that doesn't already bend at your will. As focused as you are, somehow you still feel like a kite, flying high, in perfect unison with the breeze, no bigger than that, with the universe.

Being inlove is so indescribable. It makes you feel used and worthless. It can fill your days with stresses, and your nights with worries. Life does indeed look different, smell different, and feels different, It doesn't  feel good...all the time.                                               

You feel so Powerful, that you could rip his head straight off his shoulders, You still feel motivated, this time probably to kill. And Tinkerbell, with her magic dust, is sitting, locked in cage on Captain Hook's bed table. By this time, he had already helped you break down those security walls around your heart, he helped you unpack all your baggage, he had found a place to put your insecurities, and framed your faults, so they went well with the new colour of paint your chose for your life. In other words you're vulnerable and you know it!

You think that stops You? Nope. You love being inlove, you love the way your skin glows, you love the twinkle in your eyes, You love the way every love song talks to you, you love to cuddle up to a good movie, You love his silly jokes, you love his caring touch, you love knowing that everything's gonna be alright when he puts his arms around you, you love his eyes and the way your heart beats faster when you gaze into them, You love his kisses and the butterflies you feel, you love his smile and the way he smells, you love his generosity and thoughtfulness, you love when he takes control so you can relax, you love when he stops what he's doing to listen to you, you love when he understands your 'being a woman' issues(or doesn't make you feel like a maniac at least). And if it stops You miss it.

You find yourself ready and able to endure those horrible days, just so you can get back the amazing ones.

Thank You

I would like to send out a very special 'Thank You' , to each and everyone one of you all who took the time to view my blog, it means alot...
To those who went a step further and follow my blog,,, here's an even Bigger Thank You, I will continue to satisfy your inclination for reading with my penchant...
 Thank you guys,,,Love you all

That Moment

I am a Powerful Being

Waiting for that moment.

That moment to Be what I was Born to Be.

Finally, I'll finally Be Free.

That Moment is almost here, I feel it, I dream it,

I want it more than it wants Me.

I have accepted The Truth

So no longer will I be mute,

No longer will I be confused,

Used or Abused 

For something I didn't choose.

It Is what It Is.

It has begun...Again

But this time I will not be ashamed

I will not deny my Destiny

I will Be, with or without You

Next to me.

So it was in the Beginning,

So shall it Be in the End!

The Ugly Duckling

I believe I have a fair understanding of the way life works, it took me an entire 27 years to reach this point, and I am happy, I won't say I wish I knew what I know now, back whenever, But if I could rewind time, I would have done things alot different, but its my life, my circumstances, trials, struggles, that make ME who I am, And I know I don't always make the right choices, but I always make the best choice at that moment.

They say age brings reasoning, and that is 100% true. If u believe that I am that same misunderstood teenager searching for her identity in this life, you're wrong. If you want to judge me on my past mistakes, you can go right ahead,,,What you think, say or feel about me, still will not make me that.

Someone asked me if I regret certain personal decisions and circumstances I've made and been through, as though I should, and actually tried to convince me that I should, because of the consequences I faced as a result, O hell No, I Do Not have regrets, I am a strong, courageous, inspirational black woman, and it was my survival through those trials that made me that way. I've learnt first hand that every action has a reaction, I've learnt to take responsiblity for my actions, I've learnt that who God bless No man shall curse, I've learnt to love myself despite of, I've learnt endurance, I've learnt to make sacrfices. I have learnt pain so I am now open to experience healing, I have learnt sadness, so now I can appreciate happiness, I have been hated so now I know how to Love.

So to you all that label me based on what you've heard(like if I care), or judge me Only by my faults(as if U have none), You do that, I'll just be too busy (enjoying life and sharing it with those that matter) to care. I do Not owe anybody a damn thing, I do Not have to prove anything to anyone. I know Who I am and What I am worth.

To you all who feel like if you're in my shoes, Hold Strong, it Does get better. Remember the story of the "Ugly Duckling" who grew into the most magnificent swan in that entire pond,,,That's You, that's Me, that's Us.

Be proud of You, there is No one else like You and there will Never be again.

When U left...

I thought about you leaving, and I thought That I would die
I thought that I would never stop cry. But then that day came,
And the tears didn't come like the rain.
Instead, I looked on in disbelief, to me this meant life long grief.
Up to right now I believe I'm still in shock,
Afraid to face the truth, so I just don't give a fuck!
And engage in pointless relationships cause I'm scared...
That if the last wire trips, I will surely die,
Yes the great I and I, will no longer be
All because you left me.



CC, 2006
in memory Of Christopher xoxo.

Already Gone

As the days go by I've stopped caring about the'why',
Because You turned out to be,
The worst possible disaster to ever happen to me.
And now that its over and we've agreed that its done,
I smile and think that its me who won;
Cause you're in a sad, sad place, You're all alone and it shows on your face
But I am a star so I can't help but shine,
So You can either Love me or kiss my behind
Cause now I'm about to spread my wings, 
                              And I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.
                              So,,,it was nice while it lasted, that's all I can say
                              And I loved you, You fucked up, so You have to pay!




    C.C., 2008

Hostage

LOVE, It whispers softly to me "come and play", as it teases me,

The root of all my pain and yet the source of all my joy. I want it so bad, I need it now,

I can smell it, so close, my mouth waters in anticipation, yet so far, it eludes me yet again.

But this is simply the story of my life,,,me and the hunt for love.

Its an ongoing sequel that takes me inside the deepest depths of my own soul.

It's an illusive luxury, that has the power to drag me past the heights of the highest mountains, 

Past the depths of the deepest seas, Twice, and still...

It's that dream that make me scream out at night, sweating and scared,

That maybe, just maybe...

It's that prayer, I pray, that I have prayed, morning, noon and night,

that continues to go unanswered...

To you, who will not love me, but continues to drain my soul,

Why?

There's this darkness in me, it gets darker and darker each time I miss,

Each time I try and fail, It weighs me down, making it harder to get back up

It overwhelms my soul, and tortures my spirit, as it holds my heart hostage,

                                                     The price for my release...LOVE.